2018 saw a few annoying health blimps for me - I was constantly weighed down with some sort of bug, reaction or inflammation. In December last year I battled daily headaches which went on for 3 weeks. I tried everything from resting, improving my diet, meditating, head massages to upping my exercise. I also tried talking about issues that were potentially deeply rooted. Nothing helped. Incoming my month long trip home to my family and suddenly the headaches dissipated. Fast forward to May this year the daily headaches returned and with it a immense feeling of lethargy. I started to think I might be experiencing a anxiety or depression, because TBH I was having moments where I could bring myself or socialise either or leave the house. I also did know this was probably going to be all rooted by our super sad miscarriage 12 months prior, what annoyed me most is the inability to shake these reactions. If I was experiencing anxiety or depression birds, this would be my first ever moment feeling and seeing life through these clouded eyes. I have always to the happy go lucky type, 'mental health days' off work or bad days - simply didn't happen. For this first time EVER I reached out for specialist help. For a while now fellow Fitbirds had been suggesting acupuncture to me - mostly I'd been brushing it off, pushing it aside with other treatments like physiotherapy, reflexology and even massage. Mostly I felt like I had all the tools I needed to look after myself (what an idiot). This time was different though... I knew I hadn't been feeling myself for a year now and that scared the shit out of me.
My acupuncturist. Dan Bevan at Therapy Rooms was my unassuming knight in shining armour. I was instantly put at ease with Dan s and felt a sense of relief washing over me and I hadn’t even seen one of those teeny tiny needles yet. Two sessions was all it took for me to have a breakthrough. I found myself crying uncontrollably in the park in broad daylight for about 4hrs, a complete release I had never experienced before. It’s like I could feel my entire body waking up, an energetic field within my body was switched on! I suddenly felt alive and awake again and weeks later we fell pregnant. Needless to say the headaches & poor health vasnished.
My conclusion looking back on the 12 months of fog and poor health I experienced? It's hard to really know the answer - but I believe after our miscarriage for the first time ever, I experienced grief. For me personally no amount of talking about it or self care was able to shift this. Acupuncture unblocked something stuck within me, perhaps stagnant energy. It may sound bananas to some, but that shit is real birds, we are at essence just a billion particles bouncing around, living side by side one another. I think some of my particles had dimmed a little.
I have permanently shifted now and will definitely know what to look out for if I start to slip back into a fog... It pisses me off that I can't ever go back to my happy go lucky self. But on the flip side I've got more layers to me and I am able to empathise with those who also have experienced darker days. This experience has also confirmed what I've always believed - that anxiety and stress cause inflammation in the body. Whether that starts off as stress headaches or anxiety bloating. The mind-body connection is REAL and dis-ease will cause disease. I do realise acupuncture wont have the same effect for everyone, perhaps simply talking and sharing your shit may be all the help you need.
Let's remember that we are not alone ever birds and boys, we are just a billion tiny particles bouncing around next to one another ready to reach out and help light you back up!
Shani x