We proudly invite you to dive into the beautiful world of birth. Our fave Aussie bird Ros, like us, is a birth junkie. Ros has been in our flock since her first birth, the arrival of her gorgeous son Raffy. Ros has continuously trained, challenged and connected with her shifting and evolving body, it's an honour to be able to share such an intimate and powerful part of Ros' life. We would also like to mention, that we know birth looks different for every woman, sadly many women experience physical and emotional trauma on many levels. Ros' birth story is pretty much the dream situation, but like myself, this 'ideal birth' doesn't always go to plan. Charlie and I have both shared our birth stories on here too, which paint a different picture of birth, albeit an empowered one. All in all, through sharing stories and hosting our prenatal Bumpin' course/class we hope to empower women and educate women along their pregnancy and birth journey.
We couldn't be more grateful to share Ros' birth story with you, grab a cuppa birds and get reading.
Maeve’s birth story.
The background…
I fell pregnant with Maeve in summer 2023 and aside from nausea, food aversions and fatigue (I’m not convinced you get the pregnancy glow when you already have a toddler), I was lucky enough to have a very straightforward pregnancy.
My first birth with my son Rafferty (Raffy) in 2021 was overall positive and the physiological birth I’d hoped and prepared for, so I was fortunate enough to already have an inherent trust in my body throughout Maeve’s pregnancy and birth. Unfortunately Raffy’s birth was tainted by Covid restrictions and I found the experience of being in the hospital and the protocols that came with it (both Covid and otherwise) quite challenging.
Never the less, this experience awakened a love of birth and as a self-confessed ‘birth nerd’ I immersed myself even further in every birth-related podcast and Instagram account I could find this time. Throughout Maeve’s pregnancy I listened to countless varied birth stories and learned even more about the benefits of physiological birth and the influence that current maternity systems and guidelines have on birth.
From the outset I chose to sign up with the Home Birth team at Lewisham, my local trust, a decision that was fully supported by my wonderful husband – Jez. I had continuity of care throughout my whole pregnancy, meeting with the same midwife every time. As my pregnancy progressed, I became more and more confident in my choice to birth at home and at around 20 weeks Jez and decided that we’d like to hire a doula, as we felt this would give us the best possible experience. We spoke to Martha and instantly connected – she was an invaluable source of information throughout the pregnancy and her warmth and knowledge gave me even more confidence in our plans.
As I approached the end of the third trimester the nesting instincts kicked in, but so did extreme fatigue. I was glad to finish work at 37 weeks and tried to enjoy the last few weeks before our new arrival. Being a project manager by trade (and at heart) I had prepared everything for the homebirth, written a list of things for Jez to set up in my birth space, prepared a list of friends for him to contact should we need Raffy looked after, and packed emergency bags for both Raffy and myself, should we need them.
My due date came and went and I felt generally OK, but had a bit of a wobble at 40+5, which is when I’d gone into labour with Raffy. I knew I had no intention of inducing labour (unless there was a medical reason) so it was simply a matter of waiting it out. I was so grateful for the support of both my doula and midwife in the final weeks – Martha sent regular messages of encouragement and the home birth team never mentioned me ‘going past my due date’ and left me to enjoy the last few weeks and days as a family of 3.
The Birth…
On Saturday the 6th of April I was utterly exhausted and napped on the couch for 3 hours that afternoon – I’m not a napper! My body obviously knew what was coming. At 1.30am on Sunday the 7th (41+4 weeks) I woke up and noticed some pain all over my stomach. I lay there for a while trying to work out if it was coming in waves, but couldn’t distinguish any pattern and managed to fall back to sleep around 2am. Raffy was in our bed and woke us both up around 6am and as we lay there chatting and cuddling I noticed I was having some mild cramping. I told Jez and said that something may be happening today, but wasn’t entirely convinced, as they weren’t obvious contractions. Raffy, as intuitive as ever, noticed I was uncomfortable and said “Mummy, it’s OK, you’re going to be alright” – what a sweetheart! Maybe that fueled the oxcytocin, because at 7am when I got out of bed my waters started leaking. I told Jez and quickly ran to the toilet to check. It was at that moment I saw that my waters were stained with meconium – my heart sank. I instantly knew that this was going to impact my plans for a dreamy, chilled-out homebirth. I started to have regular, very mild contractions straight away, but was able to keep moving and talking through them. It was comforting to know that my body had already kicked into gear though and meant there was less risk of any talk of ‘speeding things up’.
I messaged Martha to let her know things were happening and that there was meconium in my waters. We spoke on the phone and she let me know that Lewisham’s blanket policy with any meconium was to go into the labour ward. We decided I would call the Home Birth team to speak to them then assess. I called the Home Birth team number at around 7.30am and it diverted to the birth centre, as there hadn’t been anyone on call overnight. As expected, the birth centre midwife told us we needed to go straight into the labour ward and go through triage. I told her we still had to work out childcare for our son and that we would come in when we could, even though this was not what I wanted at all. I called Martha back and spoke to her and she suggested we wait until 8am when there would be a shift change and the home birth team would be on call. Martha offered to call the team at 8am for me and I gladly accepted her offer – she knew my birth preferences and I completely trusted she would advocate for the best possible option.
Jez and I then went into organisation mode, just in case we had to go into hospital. I showered and got ready, then finished packing the hospital bag and Raffy’s things. Jez fed Raffy (and me) and got him ready, then started setting up the pool and the rest of the lounge for a home birth, in case that was still a possibility. I was messaging friends to see who could look after Raffy and we were fortunate to have multiple offers. Jez ended up dropping Raffy off at our friend’s place around 10am. I was a bit sad about this, as I had wanted him there with us and he was very excited about the birth, but we decided that with the uncertainty of the situation it was better that he was looked after elsewhere.
In the meantime Martha had called and spoken to Linda, the on call Home Birth midwife, and arranged for her to come around to our place to assess me and discuss our options. This was the first of many positive turns Martha helped orchestrate for us throughout the labour. We were very grateful to not be going into the labour ward yet and I asked Martha if she could be there with us when the midwife arrived, so we had her support to advocate for what we wanted.
Martha arrived around 10.30am when Jez was out dropping Raffy off and I was in the kitchen cleaning, still feeling very relaxed and having mild surges that I was talking through every 5 or so minutes. They say to ignore early labour as much as possible and given all of the logistics of the morning I did this with ease! Martha and I chatted briefly about the risks of meconium and the understanding that interventions, such as induction, would likely increase the main (but low) risk of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. This only reinforced my instincts to stay away from the labour ward and trust my body to continue progressing on its own.
I made myself some yoghurt and berries and then Jez and Linda, the midwife, both arrived. Linda used the dopler to confirm Maeve was doing well, then we discussed our options. We made it clear we’d prefer to avoid the labour ward, but discussed the possibility of going into the birth centre, which is attached to the hospital. At this stage Linda mentioned that the key reason for going to the labour ward was to have continuous monitoring, so they could pick up if Maeve was struggling across an extended period of time, as opposed to intermittently. I had been feeling her move the whole morning and was confident at this stage that she was OK, especially after Linda had checked her a few times during our conversation. At that stage Martha very wisely suggested that Jez and I go for a walk to clear our heads while Linda contacted the hospital to discuss options.
Jez and I walked to our favourite coffee shop at around 11.30am to get some pastries (which were very much appreciated post birth). On the way the contractions started to become a little more intense, although still completely manageable, but I had to stop walking and focus on breathing through them. We also used the walk to read through Dr. Rachel Reed’s article ‘Why Meconium Matters’, which very clearly outlines a balanced view of the risks and considerations around meconium. I remember thinking at this point that the labour was playing out in the opposite way to what I had anticipated. I had expected to get in the zone and out of my thinking brain to let the oxytocin flow, but here I was reading articles with facts and statistics. Interestingly the whole labour panned out this way and I was having conversations and discussing my options right up until the last 30 minutes! To my body’s credit, it didn’t seem to impact my progress or slow things down – the train was not stopping for anything! Jez and I decided on the walk that we would be happy to go into the birth centre, but we weren’t willing to go to the labour ward.
When we got back Linda and Martha had spoken and Linda mentioned that the second midwife on call that day, Sonia, was a senior midwife – the Head of Community Midwifery from the Greenwich trust. Linda said she was mindful that if we were choosing to birth out of guidelines, that Sonia would be able to help us navigate this. Linda monitored me again and her and Martha suggested that they both leave us for an hour to have some time to ourselves and they would come back with Sonia and then we’d make a final call about where Maeve would be born. We agreed this sounded sensible and were comfortable that Maeve was doing well.
Jez had already set up most of the lounge as a beautiful ‘birth cave’, so he put my tens machine on for me, put on our playlist and decided to half fill the birth pool just in case. I was happily breathing through the contractions and while they had ramped up and were coming every 3 or so minutes, they were still very manageable – I remember thinking they were quite easy to get through. At this stage I assumed we still had quite a few hours to go. That hour with just Jez and I was bliss and felt like the labour and home birth I had envisaged – a calm and completely chilled love bubble.
Martha, Linda and Sonia all arrived at around 1pm and monitored me again –baby Maeve was still completely fine, as was I. The midwives spent some time observing me, and Martha massaged my shoulders in between contractions. Sonia then suggested we would need to make a call shortly about whether we were staying home or going in to the birth centre. In between contractions we discussed what going into the birth centre would offer us that we couldn’t have at home. Essentially, it meant that if Maeve was struggling when she was born due to inhaling meconium and it became an emergency situation, at the birth centre they could hit a button and have pediatricians there in a matter of seconds. Whereas if we stayed home we would have a 15 minute window to get to the hospital in the event she needed more help than the midwives could offer. Jez and I were completely empowered at that point to make the choice that worked for us and we knew we would be supported either way. I knew at that moment that even though the likelihood was low, if Maeve was in trouble at birth I wanted her to have access to immediate assistance, so we opted to go to the birth centre.
Around the time we were making this decision my contractions ramped up and were all of a sudden coming every minute. I think making the decision allowed me to truly relax and my body responded accordingly. Jez and I were in denial about how fast things were moving and both said we were worried about the car ride to the hospital. Sonia quickly assured us that no one was driving and she called an ambulance that arrived in 5 minutes, at around 1.50pm. Martha put some noise cancelling headphones on me and handed me an eye mask for the ambulance ride. We made our way downstairs and I had about 6 contractions in the short walk out to the ambulance. Jez, Linda and I got in and I lay on my side and put my mask on while they strapped me in. I grabbed Jez’s hand because at this point the contractions all of a sudden became really intense and while I was still doing my best to breath through them they were definitely challenging. What I hadn’t yet realised is that I was in transition – not ideal lying down in an ambulance! The ambulance ride was 7 minutes in total and as we pulled into the hospital driveway my contractions switched and my body started involuntary pushing. Jez and Linda knew straight away, as I was no longer breathing silently and began to vocalise with the intensity of the pushing.
Thankfully the frequency of contractions slowed through the second stage and I only had one more as they wheeled me into the birth suite around 2.10pm. There was no time to transfer my care to the birth centre staff, so my home birth midwives stayed with me and supported the rest of my birth. I noticed the pool was empty when we arrived (even though Sonia had asked them to fill it in advance) and my heart sank. Linda hit the button and thankfully the pool filled in a matter of minutes – one of the perks of being in the birth centre I guess! In the meantime Jez and Martha undressed me and took the tens off. I quickly waddled over to the pool and Sonia and Linda helped me in. The water felt amazing! I was on my knees leaning over the edge of the pool and Jez was holding onto my arms encouraging me as I roared through the final 3 contractions. Her head started to come out during the second contraction and the ring of fire was intense. After that contraction I reached down and felt her head, which was half out. I waited for the next contraction and the rest of her head and body came out. Sonia caught her under water and passed her through my legs. I reached down and pulled her up onto my chest – the most amazing moment and one that I’d envisaged throughout the pregnancy. I looked up at Jez and his face was a mixture of shock and awe. Our little Maeve had arrived at 2.28pm and she cried straight away, she was perfect and healthy and had a lot more hair than her brother! We couldn’t believe that just 3 hours earlier we were buying pastries!
We spent a few minutes admiring her and then decided to get out of the pool and up onto the double bed in the birth suite. We had delicious skin-to-skin and started to breastfeed while Jez and I both loved on our little girl. Martha knew I wanted a physiological third stage so needed to keep the oxytocin high, so she took the midwives out of the room and left Jez and I with Maeve. Within 5 minutes I started to get contractions and could feel the placenta coming out. Jez buzzed the midwives and they and Martha came back in. I felt I needed gravity on my side, so I knelt up and gave a small push and the placenta was out. There were still some remnants of amniotic sack inside me, so Sonia and Linda spent some time getting these out to avoid anything being retained. This was a bit uncomfortable, but while doing this they confirmed I didn’t tear at all, which was wonderful news and made my recovery very smooth.
The cord was completely white at this stage so Jez cut it and we snuggled up with our beautiful little girl – pure bliss!
I can honestly say that even though things didn’t go as planned, I had a beautiful, positive birth experience. I felt so supported by all of my care providers, who all empowered me to have the best birth possible. I can’t speak highly enough of the Lewisham Home Birth team, who are so skilled and supportive of physiological birth. I am also so thankful for our beautiful Doula, Martha, who really worked brilliantly with everyone to make our birth story a positive one.
I’ll admit that a few days after I started to feel sad about not having the home birth that I’d so wanted. But when I think about it, the decision to go into the birth centre wasn’t about me, it was about what was best for Maeve. Looking back, I now realise that decision was a transitional moment, where I let go of my own wants and centred my baby – handing myself over once again to the magical ride that is motherhood.
Thank you for sharing Ros, we love you, your fam and your dedication you to your physical, mental and emotional wellness.
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